It was one year ago today that I set foot in the US of A to meet up with my now, beloved husband. Wow, how time flies.
Ben and I were reminiscing a few nights ago about our numerous airport/train station moments after what seemed like eternities apart, yet they were only ranging between 1 week and 7 months - far from anything eternal. Still to this day though, we've spent more time apart in our relationship than together, but hopefully in the months ahead, that will reverse.
However, that time apart changed and challenged our relationship for the better. We couldn't cuddle on the couch watching movies, we couldn't play tennis, and we couldn't even take a walk on the beach together. Instead, we talked on skype, talked on the phone and wrote letters, more letters and even more letters. We were forced to talk, to communicate, to get down to the nitty gritty deep issues and put our relationship in the right place, with God and without the physicality getting in the way. It was communication or nothing, but it was an excellent way to start our relationship and we've most definitely continued to develop what we learnt through that time.
In some ways, we felt distant (no pun intended) and at times, it put a strain on our relationship. But what relationship doesn't have it's struggles anyway? They either make you or break you. In this instance, it made us. We had to be disciplined to set time aside to chat even during our busy schedules and even during those times when we didn't really want to talk to anybody. But when we didn't, we found ourselves slowly growing apart. Our relationship at that stage was soley based on communication while at the same time, we earnestly desired to be in each others arms again and being with each other face-to-face developing out relationship into something much greater; marriage.
I remember the day after we got engaged, Ben compared a long distance relationship to that of the Christian and God. Jesus is no longer walking on this earth with us and it takes a unusual commitment to pursue a relationship when you physically can't spend time with somebody. Our relationship with Jesus is likewise based on communication; prayer (phone/skype conversations) and the word of God (love letters). When we don't communicate with Him, we also found ourselves slowly drifting away, and our relationship becoming more and more distant by the day. We likewise long to be face-to-face with God one day soon and also developing our relationship into something much greater; marriage.
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." - Ephesians 5:31-32 ESV
6 comments:
This is a beautiful post Mel. Makes me tear up thinking how I got to watch (at a distant) you and Ben grow as a couple. And what a beautiful picture of our relationship with Christ. Those illustrations of the Church being the bride of Christ time and time again in scripture have become real for you on an entirely new level.
So glad I have the privilege of knowing you, my sister in Christ, in this life as well as the next.
Thanks Kelsey.
Ben often mentions new ways that a marriage relationship illustrates Christs relationship to the church. It's great to live in that.
Hey! I'm also a kiwi girl engaged to an American :) Love hearing about other couples and how they make the long distance thing work well for them. While being engaged we are both in different countries which is really hard. How did you guys meet? Where in the states is your husband from?
Hi Nicole,
How did you find my blog? :)
I met my husband at a Bible School in NZ a couple of years back. We both took a year off to study and it was great! :) He's from Oregon. Where is your fiance from? And how did you guys meet? Who's going to move where? hehe
We spent just over 3 months apart when we were engaged. Thankfully it wasn't too long. We decided we wanted a short engagement mostly because of the distance. hehe :)
Aw that's awesome. I found your blog through a comment you left on a forum on an article on the Relevant magazine website. My Fiance is from Kansas, but we met in Hawaii (I was on holiday and he was working over there) and I'll be moving there next year! What made your husband wanna live in NZ? :p
We're currently sorting out visa stuff so hopefully our engagement/time apart won't be too long!
Wow, that's awesome. Where are you guys getting married? And how are you getting on with visa stuff?
we had a fairly short engagement (5 months) and I couldnt obtain a visa to the States in that time, so he decided to come here instead. Nothing seemed to work for me going there, but things went so smoothly for him to get a visa for NZ. And our pre-marital counsellor (from the US) suggested thinking about living in NZ as well. Everything just made sense :)
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